Writing

Façade

Few knew about the castle hidden inside the island.

Cleighton and Yakira were twin siblings, but very different. Their mom used to say that Yakira was her diamond, while Cleighton was just clay.

That made the boy grow up with sadness on his heart. One day, his counselor mentions he’s very lucky. A diamond is pretty, but it is what it is, while clay can become anything.

He then goes out and reinvents himself, becoming very successful and rich.

He builds a castle, but keeps a low profile, not to show to his family how much he has conquered.

The castle is magnificent, but lays hidden in the subterraneous of the island, topped with a tea house as a façade, to make sure no one would try to explore further.

His family believes he lives in a shanty home and in poverty… Little they know…


This is my first attempt to participate in the Monday’s Finish the Story challenge, hosted by Barbara W. Beacham, in which we need to create the story as a continuation of the first sentence provided by her (Few knew about the castle hidden inside the island) and inspired by the picture below.

fennetteisland

The story above makes reference to 2 real facts.

  1. the tea house that indeed exist in Fannette Island, in Lake Tahoe
  2. the story about a kid whose mom tells her all the time that her brother is mom’s diamond while she is clay, and that’s why she needs therapy

I felt sorry for the kid and then decided to give her a happy ending. ;o)

The first draft for oer 400 words, though, so I had to chop it a lot. Hopefully it still contains enough to make sense.

(PS. I’m NOT a psychologist and the kid is NOT my client. I just ‘heard’ the story in facebook)

To see other stories created in response to this prompt, click the blue frog below.

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10 thoughts on “Façade”

  1. How sad for the little girl whose mother tells her she’s clay and I love the happy ending you gave her! The story was wonderful because he didn’t need to impress his mother with his nice castle. He is fine letting her think he is still clay but he knows the truth! Love it!

  2. Another great story, Etol. 🙂 I’m so glad Cleighton managed to move past his mother’s belittling and make a successful life for himself. It’s sad that his issues are actually based on a true story – some people can be needlessly cruel.

  3. Thanks all for the commenting. Yes, it was a sad story the one I heard in about. But I guess this goes more of less how her psychologist told her too (2 people -myself and someone else commented with similar ideas, then she said that’s also what she told the 11 year old girl). Still sad to think a mom could say such a thing to a kid. Hopefully she’ll mold herself into a wonderful teenager and grown up.

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