Don’t go away, stay a little more…

Last Sunday my bestest friend moved out of the country.

He’s from Germany and for the past 5 years he’s been willing to go back, and for the past 2 he’s been actively searching for jobs there. (I sorta told his story here once…)

So now it finally happened. He is happy and I’m happy for him.

But….

It hurts so much to see your best friend go to live 5,000 miles away from you…
Having lunch together won’t be as easy as a quick drive to his office building, even chat won’t be as easy as real time due to the time differences…

So in this post today I share a song that has been on my mind ever since he got the job offer and confirmed the date he’d be going.
The song is in Portuguese, so I also share the link with the lyrics and translation, below the video:

Lyrics translation:
http://lyricstranslate.com/en/teorema-theorem.html-0

Bis später, mein Freund!

I need to see people

This week i’m feeling anxious. It’s a mix of several things.

I’ve been working from home and that’s not something that resonates well with me. I’m a social bug and need daily contact with people. Working remotely feels lonely.

On top of that my team is not great on communicating on email or IM anyways, which makes it even more isolated and lonely.

Then, my husband is traveling for a total of 3 weeks, and won’t be back for the next 2.

Then, my best friend is moving out of the country. Yesterday we went for lunch on what I thought it would be the last time I was seeing him in a very long time. At the end we schedule another lunch for next week, which is great, but then that will be it for sure.
And I’ll miss him painfully.

Other friends are too busy trying not to get laid off and it’s been hard to meet them for lunch or something.

…..

And all of that is making it so hard to concentrate that even the one thing that would distract me (work) is being left to the side, while I keep getting bored in facebook and instagram…

Oh well…

I guess it’s time for another job change. It seems I just need a job out of the home.

Job hunting, here I come again….

 

 

Weekly Writing Challenge: Dear Abby

Dear Abby,

I’m 37 years old and I’m aware that I have a great friends, wonderful nephews I babysit sometimes, an awesome job on a great company. A good life, most would say. But somehow sometimes I feel everything is just plain wrong in my life. My best friends are irritating and do everything wrong, my nephews are cute but I just don’t have the patience with them at all, my job is not motivating enough, the company sucks, with too much politics in the team.

Deep inside I know they are all good, but I still can’t stand it anymore. Sometimes I feel like dropping everything and starting all over with different people, different career, different life. Because my life seems to suck big time. Just wrong!

I feel lost and I don’t know what to do, how to start fixing my life.

Please, help.

Magda

=======================================================================

Dear Magda,

I feel for you, but one thing I would ask you to do is to evaluate each of the statements you wrote in your letter.

Typically, when a person tells that everything is her life is wrong, then the problem is not really in the everything, but on the person. More precisely on the person’s attitude towards the everything.

A career change sometimes is a good thing, but are you really unhappy with your current one? Wasn’t it the career you chose in the past? What has changed since then?

You nephews are just kids, and they’ll love you in any case. But you should always remember that they are most likely making your life better than worse. That may help finding the tranquility when the patience is running out and get back into being a nice auntie.

You also said that your best friends are irritating and do everything wrong. My question to you is if this ‘everything wrong’ they do are new to them, or if they have always been like that and have always done the same ‘wrong’ things. If the answer is the later, then I ask why wasn’t the ‘everything wrong’ an issue for you in the past when your friendship was formed and why it is a problem now?

So my advise is to try to think more objectively and evaluate each of your problems to see if the problem is indeed in the subject or if it’s on the way you’re currently looking at it.

Best regards,

Abby

 

 

This post was written in response to the Weekly Writing Challenge: Dear Abby

 

The top 5 regrets I may but will try not to have before I die

This week, a friend posted in his Facebook a video of a doctor in a Brazilian hospital talking about a study made by an Australian nurse that lists the top 5 regrets of the dying.

I could not find a nice video in English, so posting here the link to the blog of the author of the study.

http://www.inspirationandchai.com/Regrets-of-the-Dying.html

Right now, looking at those regrets, I identify some of them as potential regrets I’ll have later in life.

So i guess I have to start changing, right.

Actually I’ve been changing already, but maybe not as much or as fast.

So lets talk about each individually:

1.  I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

Not sure if I’m too guilty of that one. Sometimes I may do like others expect me too (having retired this blog as one example) but not so much I guess. Not to the point of having a reason to regret. I guess…

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

Define work! Hahaha. I do work hard in a way that I spend a lot of time in the office, which is time taken away from family. Sometimes I have the chance to go back home early, but because I know once I get home I won’t have time for certain things (like blogging) I stay at the office even longer for that. It’s not work, but still time away from family spent in the office. That said, if anything is needed for family that would required me to miss work, I don’t hesitate. Hubby does sometimes hesitate (although I need to be fair that when really needed he’s always there for them too. Nope, can’t complain of him at all), I never do.

I do wish though, that I would spend less time in the office so I could do things that interest me more. The problem being that I don’t enjoy my job really. If I did, I’d be more cool about this.

And I AM working on that. I am back to school to learn a new profession and be able to change and do something more enjoyable and potentially more flexible that would give me more time for leisure.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

This is one of the biggest ones for me. I do have a hard time. Especially when it comes to expressing my feeling to the people that matter the most. I can totally talk about my feelings to a stranger or a good friend who is just that, a good friend. But as soon as the person becomes really close to me and as soon as the feelings are related to them, regardless of what sort of feelings, than I have a hard time. I do say I love you to the loved ones, but I usually don’t say when I’m mad with them for whatever reason, when my feelings are hurt. I simply shut up and go on, which I know it’s not healthy and does not help the person realize that they could have hurt me (sometimes it’s not intentional, and they just don’t realize it.)

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Yep, that’s another one. Although nowadays with Facebook and other social media t;s easier to find old friends again and reconnect. It’s never the same level of relationship. Especially if you are 7,000 miles away from them, so still a reason to some regret. But just the fact that we’re trying to reconnect I guess eases this one a bit.

 

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

I’m trying this one hard! and you know what, I’m succeeding on it.

I won’t tell here that I’m 100% happy at 100% of the time (this past couple of weeks being an example of not feeling too extremely happy, as you can see in my previous post), but I’m doing much better now that I was 2 years ago.

Just need to continue living like that to not have this regret when my time comes.

So there you go. An evaluation of how I am doing in regards to the top 5 regrets.

 

Bad week?

This week has been so tough?

Not that there is anything bad happening, but I just not in a good mood…

Maybe because I’m tired of having my guests at home and with that I’m feeling anxious to see the day they go back home (in 3 days! Yoo-hoo!)

Maybe because I’ve been eating too much carbs and sugars, which I have already proven myself it does not help me keep my good moods.

Maybe because I’m just tired, having set myself to study 2 subjects in 2 different environments (Web Design in a classroom, on evenings, at Bellevue College; Python, online at Coursera)

Maybe because after a few weeks of very good weather, it’s been rainy and cold again.

Maybe because I haven’t worked out this week, since Miss V in on vacation and I haven’t really walked.

Maybe because I miss my friends, who I haven’t seen in a bit.

Maybe because I’ve been closing myself up in this office and some days I barely talk to anyone in the team.

Maybe because I’m not playing enough! (http://charliehoehn.com/2013/05/19/how-i-cured-my-anxiety/)

Oh well.

Just hope next week, when life gets back into the go’ol routine, I’ll start feeling better again.

Thought of the day

What the heck am i doing in here????

Not that I don’t like my job. I just don’t think it’s the job for me….

But if not this one, then what?
What else can I do? (yeah, yeah… quite a lot of stuff I know, but would them be enough to get me a job?)
What motivates me?
What do I WANT to do???

Don’t know….
😦